pregnant pause

ANDY: Or... Here’s something profound… [pauses until one by one everyone who’d been trying to ignore him looks up from their desk for the punchline] [grins] The longer you leave it the more profound it is, right?

downward spiral

After swearing at stubborn lolly wrappers and singing in gibberish, an under-pressure ANDY’s last resort is a rambling story about gypsies, which he abandons halfway through while struggling for a word.

ANDY: What’s that word? Cassy knows, she’s not gonna tell me though.

CASSY: I don’t want to distract you from making pages, Andy.

[Sullen silence from ANDY]

CASSY: I don’t know anyway, I have no idea what you’re talking about. ‘Gypsies…’ That’s all I heard.

ANDY: [mumbles] That’s all you wanted to hear…

overtime

KATE: [leaving for the night] Do you want the air con off?

ANDY: Nah man, I need to breathe. [adds quietly] Don’t take that away from me…

what about me?

“You’re getting all of the fruits of the forest lately!”
ANDY watches two colleagues prepare to head off on a research trip to the peninsula, but remains tied to his chair like Cinderella longing for the ball

food for thought

CASSY [while subbing an article on nutrition]: There’s a message for you in this, Andy. According to this, ‘sports bars are not a nutritious daily snack.’

ANDY: Touché to that except for one thing - I don’t eat them as snacks, I eat them because I ride a bike between hither and… thither.

CASSY: How long is your ride?

ANDY: About an hour.

CASSY: Well Kristian says for any session under 90 minutes all you need is water.

ANDY: [pauses, temporarily dumbfounded] Maybe that’s what the Beatles should've sung…

first time round the sun

"He's obviously cut the mustard many times..."
ANDY on learning that ALEX LLOYD first began making mediocre music in the 1990s



Listen to early Alex: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Os3hahvPJIw

give me the skinny

ANDY: [mispronouncing his order] Can I get a large skinny lah-day?
COFFEE SHOP GUY: Whoa, that sounds like a strange lady! Would she be tall but skinny?