sack lunch

Andy proudly displays his zip-locked bag of lunch, much to the horror of his colleagues.

ANDY: I soaked the lentils in stock for, like, twelve hours and then I slow-cooked it for six hours…

ANGE: Six hours! For lentils? You’re trippin’ man. My old lady cooks lentils, it doesn’t take six hours.

Over the next 20-odd minutes Ange and Andy discuss lentils and their cooking requirements at length with occasional interjections from Kathryn. Due to the long and rambling nature of their dialogue our attention drifted and we were unable to record the complete conversation however we did tune in at the end, just in time for this touching exchange...

ANDY: I feel hurt, man.

ANGE: [encouragingly] Nah man, at least you’re having a go…

cooking with andy

Andy is delivering one of his enthusiastic monologues about something he cooked last night, complete with sound effects.

CASSY: [impressed] Did you invent this dish Andy?
ANDY: Nah, I made it up.
CASSY: That’s what ‘invent’ means, Andy…

former pro

ANGE: So what am I doing first, is it the wanker challenge? [ANGE is sifting through job bags and selects one labelled Challenge Wanaka]
CASSY: That’s the one. Hey, you should have entered, Ange!
ANGE: Nah, I’m retired.

Andy is currently vacationing in the UK.

this is your brain... this is your brain on deadline...

CASSY: Do you have any thoughts on that, Andy?

ANDY: I don’t have any thoughts about anything right now… I can't think beyond my own eyebrows.

under attack

ANDY'S COLLEAGUE: So what did you get up to over the weekend, Andy?

ANDY: Umm... [racking his brain] I saved some broccoli from being eaten?

His colleagues stare blankly at him.

ANDY: By snails.

ANDY'S COLLEAGUES: Oh.

ANDY: They’re like Napoleon at battle, they’ve got military finesse, honestly! They've got a one-track mind and all they want is my broccoli…

dry spell

CASSY: *gasp* Andy, the last post is dated July 26!
ANDY: [gravely] I know.
CASSY: That's three solid months without a word, without a peep--
ANDY: [indignant] Hey, I've been peeping, oright? You just haven't been posting!

what's for lunch?

"Serendipity" a la Andy

Thomas Dux lentil rissoles on a bed of lentils with corn chip garnish

Photo: Cheri S