juggling act

ANDY: I need some sugar.
ANNA: I've got a mandarin?
SIM: I've got two...
ANDY: [confidently] You can throw them all at the same time - I can juggle.

*THUD*

SIM: Did you drop it?
ANDY: [defensively] Well you didn't say that one was the size of a bloody house...

a match made in heaven

"Concave, concave..." ANDY muttering incomprehensibly. "Y'know, if you mixed Con the Fruiterer and Nick Cave, you'd get concave..."

third time's a charm

ABBEY: …and a tasteless vegie burger…
SIM: You make that sound really appetising.
ANDY: [popping his head up over the cubicle wall] Yeah you make it sound really… abbeytising [turns to Cassy looking pleased with himself] Write that down, eh? Eh?
CASSY: No, Andy, that’s not funny. It’s just lame.

LATER...

Beeeep. Beeeep. Beeeep.
ANDY: Abbey? Well, Abb-ey damned, the microwave’s finished!
ABBEY: [unimpressed] Have you been sitting on that one for awhile?
ANDY: Nah, it just came to me. Like an abbey-rition…[Cassy gives up, heads back to Andyisms and selects Create New Post]

the long & short of it

ANDY: [eyeing an email on Cassy's screen] Woah! Who's that for?
CASSY: A friend...
ANDY: It's big enough! What is it, a novel?
CASSY: It's not that big, it's just a really long paragraph.
ANDY: A paragraph? [scornfully] That's not a paragraph. You could fold that into seven bits and make a paper plane, that’s how big it is...

the smell of an oily rag

ANDY'S COLLEAGUE: I'm going to Dux, anyone need anything?
ANDY: I might come with you.
ANDY'S COLLEAGUE: Alright. But only if you walk at least two metres behind me.
ANDY: I feel like an oily rag...
ANDY'S COLLEAGUE: [baffled] Why an oily rag?
ANDY: Well you don’t take an oily rag with you, do you?
ANDY'S COLLEAGUE: There's a lot of things you don’t take with you-!
ANDY: Yeah, but I’m not about to start listing them all, am I?

green, green grass of home

"Treat it like it's Daylesford or something man, enjoy it." ANDY advises CASSY as she heads to Greensborough for an interview. "It's a leafy suburb. It’s hardly bayside, but it does get some puddles…"

pennywise

“You know what I saw this morning on the train? As I leaned across and looked over someone’s shoulder at the paper (that’s called frugality and cost effectiveness)…”