the winds of change

"Look at me, I open a tin of sardines and start a revolution..."
ANDY watches with bemusement as murmurs of discontent ripple through the office at the speed of sardine fumes

waiting in vain

LOZ is strolling past ANDY'S desk, and notices CASSY staring.
LOZ: [uncertainly] What?
CASSY: Oh, I wasn't staring at you, I'm just waiting for Andy. He's taking too long.
ANDY: I thought I could feel something burning my neck...

Later...
ANDY: [having finally sent the e-newsletter on its way to Cassy] It’s out in cyberspace… suck it in.

notes from the train

Armed with his new iPhone, Andy braves the arduous, trans-Yarra journey from Greensy to Armadale...

A: Currently at Jolimont
A: Yet again the trains are my undoing
A: Currently at Flinders and no sight of a fricken train

L: What?! I heard our public transport system was flawless!

A: Train just pulled in 10 mins late but has decided it does not want to take passengers

L: It's taking one passenger: the train driver!

A: Now a platform change
A: Now on train 14 mins late
A: It's now 30 mins since Jolimont
A: It could end up becoming an express and not stopping at Armadale

L: Is the train express or not? Just head to Frankston and start selling drugs

A: Train just arrived at Armadale... start walking

Andy [walking through the door]: There you have it! I've just walked you through a morning in the life of Andy...

easy listening

ANDY: [torturing his colleagues with yet another painful request during easy listening hour] What about the Waterboys?

CASSY: Who are these people Andy?

ANDY: That's exactly how I feel when you go on about your modern music...

NAT: I'm older than you, mate.

CASSY: [imagining Andy on the dancefloor delivering lectures about the scourge of modern music] Do you go out and party after Ironman, Andy?

NAT: Nah, he hangs out in the elevator listening to this sh*t.