"to think like the man, you must become the man..."

on slow days at the office, we look to andy to save us, but to whom does andy turn for inspiration?

namaste

Andy attempts to identify a yoga pose:
Andy: What’s that one where you bend over?
Bewildered colleague: The one where you bend over…?
Andy: You know, you look like a giraffe without a head?

under the milky way tonight

"Did you see the moon last night, Andy?"
"Nah, I was busy."

wwjd = what would joyce do?

"Joyce had no choice."
Andy defends a much-loved former Sainburys colleague

shoes maketh the man

“Shoes make up 50% of your first impression of a person.”
Andy insists. “When you go to an interview you look at a person [makes eye contact], you look at their shoes [looks down].”

“What do these say about me, Andy?”
A colleague kicks up her flat black boots and awaits Andy’s judgement

“What do they say? German military.”

easy listening

Andy's review of the royalty-free music playing on the website of a popular sports photographer:
"It starts off classic and warms you to the moment. Very Scottish. Features a cacophony of strings, supremely balanced by the odd whistling pigeon."
Loz: "What did you say about the melody, Andy?"
Andy: "I don't know... [bird whistles]"

word perfect

Loz: Andy, is that a '1' or an 'i'?
Andy: I don't really know, next time I'll have to dot my 'i's and cross my eyes.

the self-referential blog post

Andy’s colleague #1: Has the blog been updated?
Andy’s colleague #2: Actually, it was updated this morning for the first time in about two weeks! It’s been a sad couple of weeks for us all here...
Andy: What did you update?
Andy’s colleague #2: You’ll have to log on and find out, Andy.
Andy [unconvinced]: It’s like blowing my own trumpet. You have to tell me – you guys are like my disciples, and I’m Jesus. [pause] Am I Jesus?

the who wants to be a millionaire question that stumped andy

Which item belonged to Captain Corelli?

1. a mandela
2. a mandala
3. a mandolin
4. a mandarin

reflections on a windowless workplace

“It’s like being in a casino, without the fun. Or the money.”